


The Bravest (the Worthiest)

by kuragay



Series: Natsume Week 2020 [7]
Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Natsume Takashi's Terrible Childhood, POV Outsider, POV Shibata Katsumi, Tumblr: Natsume Week, Tumblr: Natsume Week 2020, Youkai, a touch of violence, but only hinted at, it's really not explicit at all, the Natsume/Tanuma can be interpreted as platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:28:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26132674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuragay/pseuds/kuragay
Summary: What starts off as a fun day quickly turns south, as it often does when Katsumi hangs out with Natsume and Tanuma. Along the way, Katsumi reflects on who he is as a person and what Natsume's youkai world means to him.-Day 7: Outsider Perspective
Relationships: Natsume Takashi & Shibata Katsumi, Natsume Takashi & Shibata Katsumi & Tanuma Kaname, Natsume Takashi & Tanuma Kaname, implied Natsume Takashi/Tanuma Kaname
Series: Natsume Week 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1812550
Comments: 8
Kudos: 106





	The Bravest (the Worthiest)

**Author's Note:**

> These fics were supposed to take a week to write and I took nearly two months ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Katsumi calls Natsume again, like he always does, and he can’t quite find it in himself to be embarrassed. It’s also, he would argue, more than guilt. He doesn’t only try to make nice with Natsume to repent for his past misdoings, although that may be part of the reason, but rather he hangs out with Natsume because it’s fun.

Despite their history, Natsume still gives Katsumi the time of day, and he’s forever thankful. He’s not self-deprecating enough to think he doesn’t deserve redemption, although he does wonder why Natsume ever forgave him in the first place. After all, he’s never quite left a good impression, and even now when they spend time together, trouble always seems to follow. Still, Natsume’s as patient as ever, although he never hesitates to give Katsumi a good tongue lashing. 

“Natsume,” Katsumi says through the phone, and Natsume lets out the most glorious sigh Katsumi’s ever heard.

“What do you want?”

Undeterred, Katsumi barrels on. “I’m free tomorrow after school. I’m gonna head over and pick you up.”

“I’m not free.”

“The day after then.”

“I’m still not free.”

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow.”

Another sigh, this one even more disgruntled, drips through the phone, but Katsumi hears muffled conversation over the line and thinks Natsume’s probably asking a friend for advice. It takes a couple seconds, but the muffled quality eventually fades and Katsumi can once again hear Natsume’s breathing, as crisp as phone audio can get.

“...I’m free the day after tomorrow, but only if Tanuma can come.”

The anxiety that built in Katsumi’s chest unnoticed disperses, and he relaxes, relieved that the phone acts as his shield. “Of course. I was gonna invite him anyway.” Not true, but it sounds nice to say. 

“Bye, Shibata. I’ll see you soon.”

It’s surprisingly nice considering Natsume’s previous annoyance, and Katsumi takes it graciously. 

“I look forward to it.”

If he’s smiling after he hangs up, that’s no one’s business but his.

-

The day after tomorrow becomes tomorrow, and before Katsumi knows, it’s today.

A man of his word, he heads over to Natsume’s school immediately after he’s let off for the day, the bus ride smooth and uninterrupted. It’s humid enough that Katsumi’s hair is curling at the edges, but the sky is clear and the temperature is tepid, so it’s as good a day as any for an outing. 

“Yo, Natsume,” Katsumi waves as the gate when he sees the other boy walk out, sunlight shining off a head of gold making Natsume stand out more than he already does. Natsume’s surrounded by his friends, and more than that, he attracts the attention of quite a few peers. It seems though, unsurprisingly, that Natsume’s unaware of his own popularity.

“Hey,” Natsume says, his possy still stuck to him like glue. Tanuma, who’s steadily warming up to Katsumi even though Katsumi’s sure Natsume dished some info on what Katsumi was like before, greets Katsumi with a polite wave. Nishimura though seems to be on a completely different page, if not chapter, because he regards Katsumi like he’s old gum on the bottom of his shoe.

“We had plans with Natsume today, you know,” Nishimura says, arms crossed, and Kitamoto tilts his head.

“No we didn’t.”

NIshimura’s elbow jabs into Kitamoto’s stomach, hard, and Kitamoto yelps, swatting at Nishimura more gently than he deserves, in Katsumi’s opinion.

“We didn’t have plans,” Kitamoto reiterates. “So have fun.” He turns to Natsume. “We’ll see you at school tomorrow, so don’t get in any trouble please.”

“You hurt him, you die,” Nishimura says before he’s dragged off by his milder-tempered friend, and through the entire exchange, Natsume and Tanuma stand to the side, quietly observing. There is, however, a glint in Natsume’s eyes that tells Katsumi that he’s secretly amused. 

“So what’s the plan for today?” Natsume asks once it’s just the three of them left.

“I’ve been hearing rumors of a garden that blooms all year round. I thought we should go investigate.”

Immediately, Natsume seems disappointed, and his disappointment makes Katsumi’s gut curdle. 

“Or not!” he quickly amends. “We could obviously do something else.”

“Do you only come to him for youkai related things?” Tanuma asks tiredly, his hip gently bumping against Natsume’s although Katsumi’s inclined to believe that neither of them notice. If he’s being honest, Katsumi hasn’t even realized that he only asks to hang out for youkai business, but now that Tanuma points it out, Katsumi’s realizing it’s true. Guilt worms its way in, settling in his stomach, and he wonders why he can’t just ask Natsume to hang out to do regular people things.

“I didn’t realize,” Katsumi says, half-sheepish but mostly just sorry, and he’s completely unprepared for the look of gentleness Natsume gifts him. It’s an expression of pure warmth that’s never been directed at him before, and one of Natsume’s genuine smiles graces his lips.

“That’s okay,” Natsume tilts his head, his eyes briefly glancing off to the side like he sees something before his gaze returns back to Katsumi. “I understand it might be exciting for you to know about things that you previously didn’t believe existed. I’m not under any impression that you’re only using me to have fun with youkai, so don’t worry about that. But,” Natsume says, still as gentle as ever, “maybe we can do something else today and just hang out as normal friends would.”

Shibata nods, a little breathless, and he takes Natsume’s smile and stores it deep in his heart because he’s never seen it before. Before, when he was young and stupid, he had only ever seen Natsume as someone small, scared, and crazy. Now he sees kindness and warmth and understands, without a doubt, why people and youkai alike gravitate towards him.

-

They decide to take a train and head to the city because there’s a new cafe that Tanuma and Natsume have been eyeing.

“I want to get some of their cakes for Sensei,” Natsume says. “He’s hungover at home but he won’t admit he’s hungover, yet he was rolling around and whining all morning.”

Briefly, Katsumi tries to picture that old, fat cat hungover and decides it’s too much of a headache to even fathom. The image is quickly dismissed, and soon they arrive at their stop where Katsumi gets off first, followed by Tanuma and Natsume who sync up step by step. Katsumi wonders if there’s something more between the two of them but then figures it’s none of his business and that they’re probably tired of him sticking his nose into places where it doesn’t belong.

The air here isn’t as crisp and the buildings are too tall for comfort, not to mention that it’s stupidly busy for a weekday afternoon. Still, Natsume and Tanuma flank him side by side as they chat away happily about nothing. When Katsumi doesn’t think too hard, conversation flows naturally among the three of them, and it’s almost like he’s known them forever, like maybe he and Natsume were childhood friends instead of childhood bully and victim. It’s a nice thought, but Katsumi doesn’t entertain it for too long because it makes his chest squeeze in a way that he’s long since recognized as shame.

He’s so caught up with asking Tanuma about what being a shrine priest entails that he doesn’t notice when Natsume stops walking. It’s Tanuma who stops abruptly, and only then does Katsumi look back to see that Natsume’s no longer following them. 

Natsume stands twenty meters back, his brows furrowed as he looks at a random corner of the street. When Katsumi tries to see what Natsume’s seeing, he finds nothing but normal pedestrians, but Tanuma must sense something more because he pauses and breathes deeply, rubbing at his temples.

“Is there a youkai?” Katsumi asks, and he doesn’t mean to sound so excited, but he can’t help his curiosity. It feels like he’s a part of a secret club, and he knows he shouldn’t think of it like that because this is Natsume’s regular life that he’s been luckily invited to, but there’s an exclusivity to it that he finds himself revelling in. 

“There probably is,” Tanuma says, side-eyeing Katsumi a bit, but far too polite to say anything else. 

Natsume doesn’t seem to hear them at all and starts walking towards where he was looking, brisk and almost angrily. “Ah,” Tanuma sighs, gliding a finger down his nose like he’s trying to spread his stress away. “We should probably follow before he disappears on us.”

Already, Natsume’s made his way around the corner out of their sight, and Tanuma and Katsumi scramble to keep up. 

“Natsume, don’t just run off!” Tanuma calls once they’ve rounded the corner too, louder than Katsumi’s ever heard him before, but Natsume’s nowhere to be seen.

“This is rather worrying,” Katsumi muses, doing his best to keep casual as uninvited nerves curl up in his gut.

“He _always_ does this.”

“I’m sure he’s fine.”

Tanuma only sighs again, and Katsumi’s just about ready to scream for Natsume to get his skinny ass over here when Tanuma takes off, each step seeming to aggravate his building headache if his pinched expression is anything to go by.

“Woah, hey! Don’t you go running off too!” Trying his best not to be annoyed, Katsumi follows, adrenaline making his heart pound. Although he wants Natsume to stay safe, he can’t deny that this is all a little exciting. He’s sure Natsume wouldn’t be too happy to hear that, but the lull of everyday life is draining, and this is anything but ordinary. This is all Katsumi has ever wanted. 

Prodding a little deeper into his own psyche, he can admit that there’s some remnant remorse. For all his excitement now, this used to be something he would alienate Natsume for back when they were much younger. He would torment Natsume for this part of his world, and now he’s here, inserting himself into it because it’s only now that he’s older that he finds it cool. He’s picking and choosing the parts he enjoys when it’s obvious there are times that Natsume doesn’t enjoy it at all.

His chest suddenly feels heavy, and the discomfort only grows when Tanuma turns behind a building. 

“Natsume!” Tanuma stops, so Katsumi stops too, eyes wide as the sight before him. Natsume’s in the alleyway, his arms crossed as he talks to a wall, but Katsumi’s sure that something’s between Natsume and the wall that Katsumi’s eyes can’t perceive. 

“I’m telling you that there’s no way I can find it,” Natsume grumbles, although his quick glance at Tanuma and Katsumi tells Katsumi that his presence is acknowledged, and judging from Natsume’s frown, probably not appreciated.

After a couple seconds of silence where Katsumi assumes the youkai is talking, Natsume sighs, and his hands come up to rub his temples in a mirror of Tanuma.

“I know, but I’m not familiar with the city,” Natsume says, then sighs again, his shoulders moving up and down with the force of his annoyance.

It’s a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it sort of thing, but for a second, in another moment of silence where the youkai is presumably speaking, Natsume’s face softens almost indiscernibly, but Katsumi catches the dip of the brow and the gentle turn of his lips.

With his palms pressing into his eyes, Natsume breathes deeply, pauses, then breathes again. “I--fine. Okay. Where did you last see your bracelet.” He nods, once, twice, then takes his hands away from his face. He nods again, then his eyes widen and he waves flippantly. “Oh, no. Don’t mind them. They’re my friends.”

“Hi!” Katsumi waves at the wall, and Natsume shoots him a look to let him know that he’s making a fool of himself.

There’s another moment of silence, followed by Natsume’s expression closing off like he’s heard something unpleasant. “No, that’s not necessary,” he says, but then winces when something in the air starts shimmering. “Really. They don’t need to see you.”

Immediately, Katsumi’s perks up, his previous self-loathing forgotten in favour of what’s happening in front of him. “Wait! It’s possible for me to see who you’re talking to?” At his side, Tanuma squints hard at the space where the air looks like it’s splitting apart, a form slowly taking place.

“He’s becoming more visible,” Tanuma says.

“Some youkai are powerful enough for regular people to see,” Natsume says, but he looks oddly dissatisfied. “Even though it may be in their best interest to remain hidden.” Passive aggressiveness isn’t a regular look on Natsume, but Katsumi can admit that it suits him well. The slant of Natsume’s brow, the narrowing of his eyes. He almost looks intimidating.

Still, the youkai seems to not care, and a second later, a figure takes place where nothing was before. 

The first thing Katsumi notes is that the youkai is annoyingly attractive. He wears a long kimono that extends past his feet, if he even has any, and he almost seems to levitate. His hair is stark black, a heavy contrast to the shimmering white silk adorning his body, and a mask covers half his face. HIs visible eye is cat-like in nature, slanted up, and his iris is so dark that Katsumi can make out where it ends and the pupil begins.

“Hello, Natsume’s friends,” the youkai greets, and Katsumi feels uneasiness wash over him, dulling the excitement until none of it remains. Something is dangerous about this creature. It’s in the way he drifts closer and closer to Katsumi and Tanuma and the way his iris seems to glow from the right angle despite its darkness. It’s in the upturn of his lips and the smell of something sweet that seems to waft around him. “Don’t you two look divine.” He speaks in almost a purr, a hand reaching out like he’s beckoning them forth, and Tanuma’s own hand comes to a rest on Katsumi’s shoulder like he’s steadying him, or maybe he’s steadying himself.

“That’s enough,” Natsume’s soft voice cuts through the cloying scent, giving Katsumi brief respite from the suffocating feeling that wraps around him. “Please don’t ask for my help then antagonize my friends.”

“Ah…” the youkai glances back at Natsume and after a pause, he drifts away from Tanuma and Katsumi, and Katsumi actually hears Tanuma’s sound of relief. “I apologize. It seems I’ve made myself appear ungrateful.”

In response, Natsume remains silent, but he holds the youkai’s gaze in a way that’s almost frightening. 

“I’ll trust you to look for my most precious possession, then.”

“I can only promise my best attempt.”

“Of course.” Gaze lingering on Tanuma and Katsumi for a beat too long, the youkai bows once before disappearing again, and judging from how Natsume turns and gives Tanuma and Katsumi his full attention, the youkai has actually left.

“I’m sorry,” Natsume says, shutting his eyes for a moment, and his shoulders slump like he’s carrying the weight of the world. “I thought this would be a regular outing, but I have to help that youkai out. You two should head to the cafe.”

“You know I’m not leaving you to do this alone.” Although Tanuma’s voice shakes, his expression is firm, and if Katsumi were to put a label to it, he would almost say that Tanuma looks offended.

“I think this is more interesting than a cafe,” Katsumi offers, and Natsume, somehow, looks even more tired than before.

“You would.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Never mind.”

Katsumi frowns, but Natsume walks forward, out from the small alley behind the building and into the city streets. Katsumi wants to ask Natsume for clarification, but then decides it’s not that serious and drops it, shrugging and electing to trail behind Tanuma and Natsume who are once again bumping into each other as they walk but somehow not noticing.

“The youkai lost an important bracelet while traveling from the train station to here. He says he can’t remember the exact streets he went on, so we’re just going to have to check every available path.”

The adventure doesn’t seem so fun anymore now that the details are aired. 

“That might take awhile,” Tanuma says, and Katsumi groans in agreement.

“Not just a while. That’s impossible.”

Natsume, though, only smiles, already starting to look around. “Maybe. After all, Touko loses her hair ties in the house and we can never find them. So this might be impossible, but I promised I would try.” 

It’s here that Katsumi realizes just how different he and Natsume truly are. He knew before, obviously, that they didn’t have many similarities in terms of personality, but Natsume’s way too helpful for it to be normal. Truly, Katsumi can’t even begin to fathom who would agree to a treasure hunt like this other than Natsume, but he reminds himself that people are a product of their environment, and Natsume didn’t grow up in an environment of love. Maybe making himself helpful was the only method he had to be accepted by people, or maybe it’s something else. The truth is, Katsumi could just ask, but he’s not sure how he should word it without sounding too judgemental.

“Don’t just stand there,” Natsume says, turning away from the plant he’s looking into to meet Katsumi’s eyes. “Weren’t you the one who wanted a youkai adventure? Help out.”

Tanuma actually laughs at that, and Katsumi rubs the back of his head, feeling sheepish. It’s easy to glamorize a world you’re not a part of, and he’s realizing just how ignorant he may have been coming off. Feeling uncharacteristically embarrassed, he follows Natsume’s method and starts peering into plant pots.

“Sorry,” he says, not looking at either of his friends, and he startles when a shoulder bumps into his. When he looks over, it’s to Natsume’s soft eyes and small grin, and the tight coil around Katsumi loosens.

-

For what feels like hours, they trace paths to the train station, crawling on the floor like idiots, peering into grass, and for some reason, even though people point and stare and laugh, it’s kind of fun. He doesn’t think it’s the search itself that makes it so fun though, but rather the people he’s with. At one point, Tanuma trips Natsume by accident, and the expression on his face is so incredible that Katsumi laughs to the point of tears.

“You look like you just accidentally killed him!” Katsumi cries, wiping at his eyes as he doubles over, laughing so hard he can’t breathe.

“Stop laughing at me!”

“You didn’t even hurt me, Tanuma,” Natsume says, dusting away the dirt on his knees. After he makes his way to his feet, he knocks his arm into Tanuma’s, then when Tanuma looks at him, he swipes a line of dirt across his cheek.

“Oh c’mon,” Tanuma says, grabbing for Natsume, but Natsume ducks out of the way.

“It’s what you deserve for tripping me.”

“You said I didn’t hurt you!”

Finally, Katsumi gets his breathing under control, and he almost starts laughing all over again when he sees Tanuma bowl Natsume over into the grass only to get dirty looks from a couple walking by.

“We have to keep looking for the bracelet!” Katsumi calls out to them. “Unless you idiots forgot.”

Even as they continue looking for the bracelet, the playful mood continues, and it feels almost like they’re just normal teenage boys fooling around in the city. Of course, Katsumi doesn’t expect any of them to actually find the bracelet, so he’s shocked when Natsume bends down next to a plant and picks up something shiny, right from the pavement.

They’re probably a hundred meters from the train station where they got off, and Natsume’s looking at the thing in his hands in shock.

“What is it?” Katsumi asks, and Natsume turns his head.

“I think this might be the bracelet.”

He holds it up, and it’s a pretty, pale pink, pearl bracelet with an almost unnaturally shiny quality. With the sun setting, it shouldn’t be nearly as bright as it is, but the pearls seem to glow.

“There’s no way,” Katsumi says, delighted. “Pass it here!”

“We’re gonna go return it now.”

“Let me at least hold it!”

“Shibata, are you five?” 

Katsumi doesn’t pout. He _doesn’t,_ but it looks like Tanuma and Natsume are both judging him anyway.

“Do you feel any energy from the bracelet?” Tanuma asks, and Natsume frowns as if unsure.

“Maybe. It doesn’t quite feel normal. Is your head hurting?”

“Only a little.”

Natsume nods, his frowns flattening back into its neutral position, but it returns when Katsumi makes grabby hands at the bracelet.

“ _Please._ I just wanna see it up close.” He knows he’s being pushy, but it’s just so _interesting._ It’s not every day that you and your friends manage to find a magic bracelet for a youkai. Besides, he only wants to hold it for a second, and Natsume’s acting like if he touches it, it’ll explode. 

“Then just come closer to look.”

“Why’re you so annoying?”

“You’re the one being annoying,” Tanuma cuts in, and Katsumi looks at him in shock.

“Woah, hey! I thought you were supposed to be nice.”

“Only to nice people.”

“I’m nice!”

Tanuma and Natsume share a look, and Katsumi pretends to be wounded. 

“C’mon guys! I’m nice sometimes, right?”

“Define ‘sometimes’.” Natsume says, but he’s at least smiling now. 

Together, they walk back to the building where they met the youkai, Natsume assuring them that that’s where the youkai promised to meet him. 

They’re only a couple meters away from the meeting place when it happens, and it’s something Katsumi will replay in his head over and over, and something he will regret for years to come. He doesn’t know why he does it, but in a moment of stupidity, he makes a move to grab the bracelet from Natsume’s hand. It’s just meant as something harmless to annoy Natsume maybe, but as Katsumi’s hand closes around the bracelet and tugs, he realizes that he underestimated just how tightly Natsume was holding onto it.

It all happens so fast. One second, Katsumi’s ripping the bracelet away from Natsume, and the next, the pearls are all over the sidewalk, the string of the bracelet snapped cleanly. For a second, no one moves, and Katsumi doubts anyone breathes, and the next second afterwards, Natsume’s on his knees, scrambling to pick up the fallen pieces.

“I didn’t meant to!” Katsumi yelps, also down on his knees, numb with shock. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to!”

“What were you even trying to do?” Tanuma snaps, uncharacteristically scathing as he joins the two of them on the pavement, but Katsumi can’t answer because he doesn’t know.

It only takes them a minute to get all the pieces of the bracelet off the floor, but it feels like the longest minute of Katsumi’s life. Natsume looks shaken, holding the loose pearls and broken string in a tight fist, but then he suddenly stands straight, head facing forward, and walks steadily behind the building where he must know the youkai is waiting.

At this point, Katsumi almost suggests that they abandon this entire thing and go home. They can just pretend they couldn’t find the bracelet and be done with it, but Natsume doesn’t lie if he doesn’t have to. It might be because he’s forced to so often in everyday life, or maybe because he associates lying with older, more painful memories, but Katsumi will never know because he’ll never ask. The point is that Natsume won’t lie if the truth is a viable option, so he heads to the alley where Katsumi meekly follows, jealous by how Tanuma’s able to walk side by side with Natsume without feeling like he’s walking to his death.

The youkai is already there, visible to Katsumi, and it seems like he already knows what happened because his aura is one large, stifling mass of fury. Immediately, Katsumi’s knees start to shake, and it takes everything he has for them not to buckle, but somehow Natsume walks closer, even as Tanuma stops, and he stands inches away from the youkai with his hands outstretched, offering the broken bracelet.

 _“Who did this,”_ the youkai hisses, his voice echoing all the walls around them, and to Katsumi’s horror, Natsume bows, his eyes trained to the floor.

“I’m sorry. It was an honest mistake.”

 _“WHO?”_ The youkai howls, and Katsumi can no longer stand, he falls to the floor, and in front of him, he sees Tanuma slowly sit down too, hands clamped over his head with his eyes shut tight. Yet, Katsumi watches in awe as Natsume doesn’t even waver, still maintaining a perfect ninety degree bow, his arms outstretched in front.

“I was careless,” Natsume says, every word steady even though Katsumi feels like he’s drowning. “It was my doing.”

 _No,_ Katsumi wants to scream. _It was_ my _fault._ But the words don’t come out, his tongue glued to the roof of his mouth. Instead, he watches as Natsume takes the fall for him. 

The slap comes from nowhere, but the noise is so loud that it resounds around inside Katsumi’s ears, peeling at his eardrums. Natsume’s head whips to the side from the force of it, a pained gasp falling from his lips, and Tanuma makes a noise like he’s choking.

“Don’t hurt him!” Tanuma yells, scrambling forward as if to reach Natsume only to let out a cry as the youkai hits Natsume again, even more forceful than the first. Natsume falls to the floor, a hand reaching up to touch his left cheek where the two hits landed, but this time he doesn’t even cry out.

“It was an accident,” Natsume says quietly, from his position on the floor, and his shoulders start to shake. At first, Katsumi thinks that Natsume’s crying, but when Natsume slowly makes his way to his feet, Katsumi catches a glimpse of Natsume’s expression and realizes that he’s not crying at all. Natsume’s expression is one of pure anger, matching the youkai’s in front of him.

“You foolish, _foolish,_ useless humans,” the youkai seethes, face contorting into something ugly, and Katsumi doesn’t know if he’s ever been this scared before. “That was given to me by Otohime-sama, my most _precious. HOW DARE YOU?”_

“It was an accident,” Natsume repeats, now on his feet. “We made our best efforts to help you despite having other things to do today, and the bracelet is broken but easily fixable. I’m very sorry that I broke it. I truly didn’t mean to.”

More wrath pours from the Youkai, and Katsumi wants nothing more than to curl into a ball, but Natsume is standing straight, and Katsumi thinks he can at least not cower anymore than he already is, so he stays sitting, watching, ready to help this time. He won’t let Natsume get hurt again. He _won’t,_ especially not on his behalf. 

The youkai raises his hand again, as if to strike, and Tanuma manages to get his feet under him, running forward like he has time to stop it. 

But, it’s not Tanuma who reaches Natsume first, nor Katsumi, who is still on the floor. Instead, a growl rips through the alley before a bright light engulfs everything, forcing Katsumi’s eyes away. When the light fades, Natsume is still standing, only now being supported by Tanuma as the youkai is horizontal in the air, writhing like he’s being gripped by something.

“Sensei, please, don’t kill him,” Natsume says, sounding like he would really like to be done with the day. He’s leaning on Tanuma, his previous strength seemingly gone, but Katsumi can’t judge him at all. After all, Katsumi’s only now even attempting to stand, his legs jelly as he makes his way over.

“What’s happening?” he asks, trying his best to not sound like he nearly pissed himself, but he doesn’t think he really succeeds. “Is your cat really here? I can’t see him.”

“He’s in his true form.” It’s Tanuma who replies, and now that Katsumi’s next to Natsume, he can see the full damage. Natsume’s cheek is bright red, and Katsumi knows it’ll bruise horrifically, and even worse, there’s blood running down the side of Natsume’s mouth and out of one nostril. His golden eyes are teary as he blinks, but more likely from the force of the hits rather than the pain, and he mostly just looks tired. “I can’t see him either,” Tanuma says, a hand coming up to Natsume’s hair.

The youkai shakes in midair, or rather he’s been shaken, and he lets out a startled cry, scrambling to get what’s apparently Natsume’s fat cat off him. Although, Katsumi doubts Natsume’s bodyguard’s true form is that of a cat. It must truly be something terrifying if the youkai’s expression is anything to go by.

“When Sensei lets you go,” Natsume says, looking the youkai in the eye, “you will take your bracelet and leave.”

The youkai nods, frantic, his previous oppressive aura completely gone. He doesn’t look quite as beautiful nor intimidating now, held tightly by something even more powerful.

“I really am sorry that we broke the bracelet. But for what it’s worth, if you thread the beads on and tie the string, you can still wear it just fine. And please remember, broken things do not lose their worth. If someone precious gave it to you, it is still precious in this state.” Natsume bows again, and the moment the youkai tumbles to the floor, he swipes the bracelet from Natsume and disappears.

Sighing, Natsume slumps back against Tanuma, and with a pop, a fat cat appears in front of them.

“Of course you were out causing trouble again!” The cat immediately berates, but Katsumi hopes the cat knows that his worry is plain as day. “And look at you! You got hurt! Why do you always end up in situations like this?”

“He needed help,” Natsume says, calm despite his cat’s ire. “But it seems I’ve only caused him trouble.”

“You didn’t!” Katsumi doesn’t even realize he’s spoken, but the next thing he knows, words are tumbling out of his mouth. “You didn’t! You already told the youkai you didn’t want to help, but he forced you to anyway. And you _did_ find the bracelet. It’s like you said, right? Broken things aren’t automatically worthless. Besides, It’s _my_ fault.” Katsumi chokes up for a second, surprised at how hot his eyes feel, but after a moment of pause, the words just keep coming. “I was stupid and rash and grabbed it even though you told me not to. I guess I was just annoyed you didn’t trust me enough not to break it, which I guess you were right because I _did_ end up breaking it. And I _know_ that was immature of me and I should’ve communicated better, and I’m so _sorry._ I didn’t mean to get you hurt. I--” He can’t believe he’s crying, but he feels tears rolling down his face, and his guilt is stifling. “I’m really really sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Natsume closes his eyes and breathes deeply, wincing as if in pain, and Katsumi really might start crying harder. “I wasn’t scared you would break it.” Natsume says, opening his eyes. He looks at Katsumi with his trademark soft expression, but it only makes Katsumi feel worse. “I was scared it would hurt you.”

If the guilt wasn’t already unrelenting, it sure is now. All this time, Natsume was protecting him, and he went and got his friend injured. Is he always destined to hurt Natsume? Is that just how their relationship is supposed to play out?

“You’re thinking too much.” Natsume pulls away from Tanuma and places a feather-light hand onto Katsumi’s shoulder. “Let’s just go home, okay? It was an accident, and I promise I’m okay.” The blood drying on his face isn’t helping his case, but Katsumi swallows and nods.

The cat looks at them, eyes narrowed. “I’m assuming I’ll be your ride home, then.”

“Please,” Natsume says.

The cat turns his head to the side with a ‘humph’, but he doesn’t argue. He prances forward and then, with a flash of light like the one before, he disappears from sight. Although Katsumi can’t see him, when Natsume helps Katsumi up, he realizes that he doesn’t just fall back to the ground. He can feel something solid beneath him, keeping him elevated, and he finds himself a little wonderstruck.

“Hold on tight,” Tanuma says, sandwiching Katsumi between himself and Natsume. Then they take off, and Katsumi’s flying.

-

The moment they get to Natsume’s place, Touko opens the door with a worried expression, that worry changing quickly to horror when she catches sight of Natsume’s face.

“Takashi!” she reaches out and gently touches his chin, tilting his face from side to side, and Natsume lets her without complaint.

“I’m fine, Touko. I promise. I just fell.”

“You’re bleeding!”

“It stopped a while ago.”

Touko’s eyes are large and quickly filling with tears as she ushers them to the kitchen, and Shigeru comes over with a damp cloth, passing it to Touko with his eyebrows furrowed. 

“You fell?” Shigeru questions, and all three of them nod. Both Shigeru and Touko inspect Natsume’s face some more, Touko painfully gentle as she wipes away the blood. A bruise is already forming on Natsume’s cheek, and it’ll surely be a spectacular colour in the morning, which isn’t great supporting evidence for their lie.

“If,” Touko starts, cloth still dabbing away at Natsume’s face. “If someone was hurting you, you would tell me right?” She speaks like she’s afraid of the answer, her words hesitant, but her expression is fierce. Katsumi realizes that despite her gentle nature, he can absolutely see her knocking someone to the ground for Natsume.

“I promise it was a one time thing,” Natsume replies, and Touko searches Natsume’s expression for honesty. She seems to find it because she settles back, the cloth coming away stained red. 

“You have to promise to let us help you, though, if someone was hurting you.” Her expression is so earnest that Katsumi aches for Natsume, and Natsume seems to feel this same pain as he nods.

“Of course. You’ve already saved me once, you know. I would trust you to help me again.”

Touko’s eyes are even larger than before, and she wipes at her tears with a chuckle as Shigeru rests a hand on Natsume’s head.

“How about you three boys head to Natsume’s room for a bit, and we’ll bring you up some tea and some food. You all look like you’ve had a long day.”

Before they leave, Touko presses a kiss to the top of Natsume’s head and smooths down his hair, and Katsumi watches as Natsume practically melts, eyes fluttering shut. He looks like he never wants to leave.

-

Later, once they’ve eaten and Tanuma and Katsumi’s parents have given them permission to stay over, Katsumi finds himself with Natsume’s head in his lap. He’s not quite sure how he ended up here, dressed in Natsume’s t-shirt, with Natsume’s soft hair tickling his leg, but he doesn’t mind. The shirt is a little small, but it’s comfortable enough for sleep, and Natsume’s breathing is soft and even, letting Katsumi know that he’s already passed out.

Tanuma sits next to Katsumi, his homework on the floor, abandoned hours ago, and he sighs. “I wish he wouldn’t get hurt so often,” Tanuma says, and Katsumi nods.

“So he gets hurt often, then. When we went into that creepy house with the dolls, that one time a while back, I thought that the youkai world looked dangerous, but I still was naive enough to think that you guys must have a lot of fun.”

“It _is_ fun, sometimes,” Tanuma admits. “But this is Natsume’s life. I know it seems extraordinary and magical to you, but it’s something that Natsume was alienated because of, and in fact, you were one of the people who alienated him. He invited you into his world because he trusts you. It’s not a magical place. It’s hard, and painful, but still Natsume considers it just as important to him as the more human aspects of his world. You should learn to respect that instead of treating it as something fantastical.”

By now, the guilt should be familiar, but it still makes Katsumi feel heavy and useless. “I know.” He looks down, frustrated with himself. “I’ll do better.”

When he glances back up at Tanuma a moment later, he sees that Tanuma’s not looking at him, but rather at Natsume, and his expression is one of pure fondness. “If it helps,” Tanuma says, a hand reaching out to run through Natsume’s hair. “Natsume doesn’t begrudge you.”

Young Katsumi was foolish and cruel, and he didn’t know the friendship he was missing out of. As Katsumi lies down, stretching his legs out in front of him, he makes sure not to disturb Natsume’s head in his lap. He stares up at the ceiling and thinks that he’s still foolish now, but he’s no longer nearly as cruel, and Natsume is the kindest friend he’s ever known. Sometimes he notices cracks in Natsume’s expression, fractures from his younger days, and he thinks, ‘ _I did that. I broke him.’_ But he’s wrong because Natsume’s far stronger than anyone will ever give him credit for, and it doesn’t matter either way. Broken things do not lose their worth.

**Author's Note:**

> The next day at school Nishimura sees the bruise and kills Shibata :’)


End file.
